yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
