I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
