Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
