Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
