The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
