I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Randomize
