____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
I party with great urgency now.
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