I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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