Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
