i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize