having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
