Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
