Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's never too late to be topless.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Randomize