Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
