On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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