I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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