What tipped you off? The sombrero?
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
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