Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
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