You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Randomize