So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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