You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
