Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
