a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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