chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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