I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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