I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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