You're a womanizer and a bitch.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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