All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Randomize
