I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
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