i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
