everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Randomize
