you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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