i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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