I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
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