wakey wakey hands off snakey
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
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