its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
only you would photoshop your dick
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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