I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
