Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
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