Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.