Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
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She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
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After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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