Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
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