They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
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