Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I think your dad took our porno
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Randomize
