There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
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You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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