you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
i need to put some appletini on your dick
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
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