shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
