Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Randomize