Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
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