i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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