i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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