Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
our cab driver is having phone sex.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
