I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Randomize
