it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
