This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
The feeling are messing with the penis
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
