my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science