I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
