Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
