Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
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